Tiny, White Lies

I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs. . . but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.

~Caroline Rhea

Better Bring the Forks With!

“If I ever go to China, I’m going to find a piano and play “Chopsticks”–only not with my fingers, but rather I’ll be using two forks.”

**Jarod Kintz

Never Been a Fan of Caviar Myself

“A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz.”
**Humphrey Bogart

How Rude!

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
**Orson Welles

The Last is the Best

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
**Brendan Behan

Happy Thanksgiving!

“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”
**Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’ll Get Right On That

“I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”

***Stephen Wright