Yes, That One!

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
**George Burns

High on Milk

“When kids hit one year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.”

**Johnny Depp


Drunk on the Joy of Ironing

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I

accidentally got gin in the steam iron.”

–Phyllis Diller